How to teach your toddler to share: 8 positive tips for parents

"That's mine!"
"Give it back!"
"He had it first!"

If you have a toddler at home, chances are you’ve heard these phrases. Sharing is far from natural at this age. While it may seem normal to us as adults, for toddlers it’s a skill they still need to learn. Luckily, you can help them get there step by step.

Why sharing is hard for toddlers

Between ages two and four, children go through major development. They discover who they are, what they want, and that others might want something different. That’s a lot to take in. Sharing requires empathy, patience, and the ability to think ahead – all things toddlers are still learning.

Many toddlers see their toys as an extension of themselves. If someone else grabs it or wants to play with it, it can feel like a personal attack. That’s why toddlers might cry or get angry when asked to share. It’s not selfishness, it’s development.

Should I force my child to share?

No, and it’s usually not helpful. Sharing works best when it’s voluntary. If you force your child to hand over a toy, they mostly learn that you’re in charge, not that sharing feels good.

Instead, help them see that playing together is more fun – and that letting someone else have a turn can feel just as nice.

How can you encourage sharing?

Here are 8 practical and positive ways to help your toddler learn to share. No strict rules – just gentle guidance and structure.

1. Set the right example

Children mirror adults. So show them how you share in daily life:

• "Would you like a bite of my apple?"
• "Dad can borrow my pen for a second."
• "We only have one remote, so let’s take turns."

2. Praise good behavior

Toddlers love attention. When your child shares or shows kindness, say it out loud:

• "That was sweet of you to let Emma play with your car."
• "I saw you waited your turn. Well done!"

3. Practice taking turns

Sharing doesn’t always mean playing together at the same time. Taking turns can be easier to grasp. Use a timer or sing a short song to signal when it's time to switch.

4. Respect special items

Some toys are just too special. That’s okay. Let your child put certain toys away before a playdate to avoid stress. This creates a sense of safety and control.

5. Use pretend play

Roleplay sharing moments with dolls or animals. For example: “Bear wants a turn on the chair. Is that okay?” or “Monkey took the ball without asking. What should we do?” This helps your child learn in a playful way.

6. Read about sharing

Books can help toddlers understand tricky situations. Some nice examples include:

• "Llama Llama Time to Share"
• "Should I Share My Ice Cream?" (by Mo Willems)
• "Mine!"

Read together and talk about what happened in the story.

7. Stay calm when it goes wrong

Sometimes your child just refuses to share or ends up fighting. That’s normal. Try to stay calm and turn the moment into a learning opportunity. Label the emotion: “You’re upset because he didn’t give it back, right?” Then offer a next step: “Shall we think of a solution together?”

8. Let your child make small choices

Kids love to feel in control. Give your toddler simple decisions around sharing:

• "Do you want him to play with it now, or later?"
• "Would you like to give it yourself, or should I help?"

This gives your child a say in the process and builds confidence.

Sharing takes time

Your toddler doesn’t have to get it right every time. Even adults struggle with sharing. It’s a skill that grows gradually. Be patient, offer support, and trust the process. You’ll see small steps turn into big progress.

And remember: your child learns most by watching you. If you stay calm, positive, and consistent, your child will follow.